40 Days of Prayer for a Baby | Day 1

I've started a 40-day prayer today. It's something that my mother's brought to me, something that her best friend's grandmother vows upon. And I imagine if... IF... it works, I might be able to share it with the world.

Dear Allah, this month I pray to you for specific, this month I pray to you every moment of every day. This month as I pick myself back up, please see my strength and hear my lament. This month, as I wear this thread around my tummy, as I move away to pray five times a day, as I whisper Surat Maryam to my heart every day, please Allah, hear me pray...

No. You weren't made to give up. so don't.

So you're telling me that medically my body can't have a baby. That medically, my ovaries aren't good enough and I've got to eat different, live different, think different in order to survive better? And that medically, things won't be easy? That this is going to be it? At 29, this is going to be how I'll have to live the rest of my life?

Well... NO! I refuse to feel this miserable. I refuse to give in. God isn't punishing me and neither will I. "I" deserve more, I deserve better too. I WILL eat chocolate because that makes me feel better. I will not think that I am infertile. I will not live as a diabetic. I WILL have a baby. Maybe not today, or next month but I WILL. SOON.

I will NEVER leggo :)